You Guys Are No Fun!

Nobody had anything critical to say on my last blog post! What's up with that people? Is anyone even reading this or are you all too cool? Or maybe I'm just not as controversial as I think I am. But really, thanks for all the support. You really are too nice. Today I'm just sharing some fall and Halloween pics.

Oh, and I was on the radio yesterday morning talking about adoption for National Adoption Awareness Month, which if you didn't know, is November. So, if you want to check it out, here's the link. It won't connect directly to the interview but if you click "past guests" on the right, I should come up. But don't make fun of my dorkiness. It took me a little while to get into a flow. I was a bit stutter-y in the beginning. It's a bit long, just so you know if you are going to listen to it. Most of the interview is with a DCF representative and then I jump in here and there.

I just like this shirt


Pumpkin picking

Drinking our "swamp juice"


Mateo was a "bad guy" for Halloween. He's pretty obsessed with bad guys.
I wish he'd associate more with the good guys though.

This was at his preschool costume parade. I did end up sending him as a skeleton and was glad to see I wasn't the only one to use a Halloween costume. There were witches and dinosaurs and monsters and lots of costumes. So we fit right in.

I just love this picture. The look on Luca's face is priceless. And this is truly a picture of the relationship they have. Mateo loves her to death. And she tolerates him. Ha!

A Controversial Blog Post

Update on progress: If you've read this and this (my last couple serious blog posts) about our struggles with diagnosing and treating the challenges our son has, then you'll know what I'm talking about here. We did start seeing a psychiatrist at Yale. He is starting a six week comprehensive developmental assessment. Yay (spoken in a very sarcastic tone). Testing is just what we need. (I'm going old school here) NOT! Can you imagine anyone testing Mateo? Okay, well, I guess not cause most of you haven't met him. But just trust me when I say, it ain't happening. I literally told the doctor "good luck with that!" I should probably be more optimistic and helpful, but I am finding it pretty pointless to go this route. But we're going to stick with it for now.

Here comes the controversial part. Sidenote: I have to be controversial once in a while because that's when I get all the comments :)

We really want to start Mateo on medication. Okay, well, maybe I said that wrong. We don't want to start Mateo on medication. We really feel like he needs to be on medication.

I am going to try to talk about Mateo's special needs without revealing too many specifics. Let's see if this works out. I know it can be quite shocking to even think about medicating a three year old for behavioral problems. But, believe me, this is not something any of us take lightly. Everyday I watch him struggle and lose functioning because his "problem" is eating away at his brain. It's not for my benefit that we would medicate our son, it truly is for Mateo. I want him to grow and develop and learn. But right now that is being hindered by his "problem". And it will get worse if we continue to ignore it.

The decision to medicate our son (for his benefit) is after exhausting many, many, many, many other options. We've tried counseling (for us as parents) and therapy for him. We've tried cutting out sugar completely from his diet. We've had lots of blood work done to test for other conditions that could be mimicking the "problem". We've gone to tons of parenting workshops, adoption counseling, attachment conferences, and talked to many professionals. We even had a 12 week in-home behavioral service come into our house to observe us and give us suggestions. We ended after 5 weeks because the worker, literally, had no advice for us. She had never met a kid like Mateo. Not many have.

It will be a long road finding what works and balancing benefits with risks and side effects. We will need lots of understanding and support. The psychiatrist we're working with is on board for medication, but waiting to confirm the symptoms he feels the need to treat. I don't really know how long this will take (I'm hoping not too much longer) or what he will want to "treat". I'm worried we will disagree with his opinion and have to start all over again somewhere else. But we'll take it one step at a time. I'm hoping in the next six weeks, Mateo will show this doctor what he is all about and give him lots to consider. He is a very complicated little guy with a lot going on. It is hard to get to know him, understand him, and separate what is what. That is the biggest challenge. But I'm hoping this doctor "gets it". There is a huge shortage in child psychiatry and even less of them take insurance. We don't have a lot of options, other than paying thousands of dollars out of pocket. If this psychiatrist doesn't work out, I might start soliciting for money. Be prepared! ;)

Most of my commentators are supportive and just generally awesome (thank you for that!). But I do welcome respectful feedback on this topic as I know it is controversial and there are many opinions about it. As long as it is respectful and not derogatory in any way, I will not delete the comments. I may have more on this topic, in which I'll post later, but for now, this is it. Let's see what you all think!

Blogging T-shirts!!!

Hey, check out my blogging merchandise on cafepress.com. There are two sayings and for some reason you can't really connect from one to the other. So click on both if you want to see them both.


"My mom is blogging my life"
http://www.cafepress.com/Jmommas


"Blog this mom!"
http://www.cafepress.com/JLRs


I have a few more ideas for blogging shirts, so there will be more to come. I'm also going to add the above two for dads. If you have other funny ideas for T-shirts, let me know so I can profit from them. Hey, if you're not doing anything with the ideas, someone might as well make some money. Just consider it a donation to the "buy us a bigger house" fund since we're literally busting out of our 850 sq.ft. home. Thanks.

Beauty Pageant Take 2

Okay, I don't want to obsess on the shameful exploiting of these little girls on national television, but I have to quote one more crazy pageant mom here, just because it really is THAT bad.

Said reeking with sarcasm and anger, "Great! She just lost cause she was having fun." Because her daughter did a fun dance move on stage when she wasn't supposed to.

This is the same mom who forced her daughter to go horse-back riding because she thought it would calm her nerves as the girl is screaming on the top of her lungs and can't control the horse. This is also the mom who made her eight year old go on an all fruit diet a week before the pageant.

Look, I wouldn't nominate myself for the ethical parent of the year award or anything. But, geez, even I think this is shameful. How much you wanna bet more than half of these girls will be pregnant by 15?

Why Does One Mom Always Have to Ruin it for the Rest of Us!

Since one or two over-involved moms (or maybe dads) made a big deal about children celebrating Halloween in our public school system, it is banned. The kids can not dress up in costumes on (or this year, the day before) Halloween in any schools, including Mateo's preschool. So, the school tried to get around this by instead having a storybook character parade where the kids can dress up as their favorite storybook character and bring the book in to class. Well, to me, this means having to buy two costumes, since he already picked out a lovely over priced skeleton costume. So Dave and I naturally, being the slacker parents we are, tried to figure out a way around this.

First, I combed the book store for a book about skeletons. No luck. Dave wanted me to order one online just for the socio-political statement it makes but that's just as much work as buying or making a new one. So it cancels itself out. You're following my logic here, right?

So, we brainstormed at dinner tonight. Since Mateo doesn't really have a favorite book, we're a blank slate. Here were some of our best ideas. Okay, maybe "best" is the wrong word. Here are some of our...ideas.

* the Bible - Draw on a beard and dress him in robes and bare feet. (Jesus)

* "Hope" (the Obama book) - dress him in a blue suit with a red tie and a "change" pin. (Obama)

Those were the more expensive ones. Here are the free ones.

* "I'm a Big Brother" - self-explanatory.

* "Mr. Brown Can Moo Can You?" - dress him in all brown.

* Any of the millions of car books we have - use his costume from last year of a race car driver.

The only problem with all of these ideas is that there is very little chance that Mateo will actually wear any of these costumes. I don't even know if he'll wear the skeleton one on Halloween even for candy. I pretty much had to force his on him last year. If it feels like a costume and not regular clothes, he won't wear it. I want to at least attempt to send him dressed up because I don't want him to be the only one without a costume. I don't know if he would care or not, or if he would even notice. But in case he does notice, I don't want him to feel left out because of me. So....

What do you think? Any ideas for a costume that is cheap or free and doesn't feel like a costume but looks like one and that also goes along with a children's book?

Worms and Christmas Trees

I know what you're thinking - how do worms and Christmas trees go together? Well, this is how.

Mateo is obsessed with worms. He can find one on a hot sunny day. I don't know how but he hunts them down and finds them. He'd make a good bird I guess. Anyway, he digs them up then tortures them for the whole time he's playing outside. He would bring them into bed with him at night if I'd let him. But the rule is that worms stay outside. So he carries them around, puts them in his cars, covers them with rocks, feeds them to the dog, gives them lobotomies, and so on. Well, he had about a hundred in a bucket one rainy day and it was time to come inside. We asked him where he would like to put his worms for the night. We have a small pine tree right next to our patio that's about the size of a Christmas tree. Mateo decided this would be a good home for the worms. So he throws them, one by one, onto the branches of the tree. Guess what the tree ended up looking like? A Christmas tree decorated with tinsel. Worm tinsel.

'Tis the season!

Mateo and his bucket of worms

Maybe you, too, have Christmas decorations in your own backyard!

Bonus photo cause it's so darn cute. And too bad I can't post pics of the baby yet cause I have one of her with these same sunglasses on! And yes, we wear our sunglasses at night.

Dave's Advice to New Fathers

"Play your X-box/Playstation/Wii as much as possible until the baby is born. Then sell it and use the money to buy the best diaper contraption on the market, lots of air fresheners, and a big handful of those yellow gloves that go up to your elbows."

What's in a Label: Update.

A couple weeks ago I wrote a post about our struggle to diagnose Mateo and find the right treatment for him to function better at home and school. Well, I wanted to post an update about our process. Although I don't want Mateo's problems to be the focus of this blog, I do want to be honest about parenting an adopted child with special needs. There should be more of us out there opening up about it. But I do want the majority of my blog to be uplifting, positive, and most of all, funny. Humor is my outlet for stress. So I need lots of laughs to get through this life.

That being said, we have registered Mateo into the Yale Young Child Study Center. This is the only service in the state (that I've found so far) that specializes in children under five. They will be using a team of professionals to evaluate possible diagnoses or disabilities and overseeing treatment (whatever that might be). I do have a strong suspicion about what I think is going on with Mateo, but I haven't decided whether I want to reveal that (should there be a diagnosis) on this blog or not. Regardless, the purpose of this blog is to advocate for adoption and make people laugh. And I hope I am succeeding. Thank you for all the kind words in regards to our struggles with Mateo.

All Husbands Should Go to Motivational Workshops

Dave went to a Motivational Conference for work this week. That evening, this is what transpired.

Dave: Honey, I just want to say thank you for all you do for me and the kids. I appreciate it and I don't know what I'd do without you.

Me: Ooookaaaay....

Later...

Dave: You are so smart and beautiful.

Me: Do you want something? Or do you have some bad news to tell me?

Dave: No, I'm just recharging you.

Me: Oh. Do you need to be recharged?

Dave: No. Seeing Mateo run to me when I got home was recharging enough.

Me: You're freaking me out. What's going on? Did you get all this from your motivational conference?

Dave: Yeah, I guess I did.

Me: Well, if that's the case, I'm sending you to one every week.

Dear Lord, Please Help My Daughter Take Home a Crown

Things heard on "Toddlers and Tiaras", a TLC show about child beauty pageants:


"Sierra is very shy. Pageants will help her get over her shyness." - as mom forces her crying daughter on to the stage.


"Both my twins do pageants but Maddy wins more. I don't have favorites but Riley's nose is a little crooked and she's not as outgoing. That's why she doesn't win."


"My daughter isn't spoiled. She just gets what she wants."


"We go to pageants to win the money. You can win up to $1000 at a pageant."

Later, when asked how much she spent on pageants, "about $10,000."


"If we saved the money we spent on pageants, I would have enough to send all three of my girls to college."


"I have three boys. They all do pageants because I wanted girls."


"Dear Lord, please help my girls take home a crown today."


"I take pageants seriously because Hailey takes pageants seriously." How old is Hailey? Four.


Pageant question: What do you want to be when you grow up. "I want to marry a rich man!"


"Pageants have given Isabella confidence. Now when someone pays her a compliment she says, 'I know!'"


"My daughter gets highlights because her hair color is very average." Mom of a 6 year old.


"Tanning is no big deal. I actually prefer my daughter tanned because her natural complexion is too fair." Mom of 7 year old.



Add on top of this the skimpy clothing, WAY too much makeup and hair pieces, and the dance routines that include shaking their hips and butts, and winking and blowing kisses to the judges. Is anyone else deeply disturbed by this?